Inspiration punched me in the face tonight. I present to you
Professional Wrestling
by Brady Lewis

Ah, Professional Wrestling. My addiction. The stuff that I watch religiously. I know this probably shocks each and every 2 of my readers, now knowing that I actually like something, but its true. Professional Wrestling is quite possibly my most favorite thing this world has to offer.

I remember the days when I was a young lad, watching WWF Superstars on Saturday mornings. Each week the Undertaker would come out with Paul Bearer and crush some guy that no one had ever heard of. Sometimes my favorite tag team ever, Money Inc. (Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase and Irwin R. Schyster, otherwise known as I.R.S.) would get a match, which they would promptly cheat to win. Oh yes, I remember those days of sheer and utter joy. My life centered around those Saturdays.

Now, you are probably wondering what my point is. All this nostalgia must have some sort of point. Well, indeed it does. You see, it has recently come to my attention that Professional Wrestling is not considered a sport. And even more so, it is not an Olympic Sport.

This discovery knocked me silly. Professional Wrestling is not an Olympic Sport? The fuck?

Ok, I thought, this cant be right. I checked each and every source I could find about the Olympic Games, and not one listed Professional Wrestling as being played during these games of nations. So, logically, the next step in the thought process is, Why? Think about it. Why is Professional Wrestling not an Olympic Sport?

Professional Wrestling is just as athletic a sport as any. It is just as athletic as soccer (football), just as athletic as baseball (if not more so), just as athletic as ice skating (gee, ya think?), just as athletic as anything else out there. Need proof? Compare the injuries of a Professional Wrestler to the injuries of any other sport. The injuries of a Professional Wrestler are equal to if not more severe than any other sport in the Olympics. The injuries are more like those found in American Football or Rugby. The athleticism of Professional Wrestling can not and should not be disputed.

But you know what? I don't want to get into an argument and rant about how real Professional Wrestling is. That rant has been done a million times by a million people. But Ill leave that subject with one more thought of mine: If you do not consider Professional Wrestling a sport, then you do not consider ice skating, X-Games, or any other sport that does not require one team to either score points on or cross a line first to be a sport. It is that simple. Don't argue that point with me, cause you cant.

Now, this brings me to my next point: Judges. Yes, that's right, the mystical J word that haunted the dreams of that loveable Canadian skating pair until they were given the gold. Yes, Professional Wrestling would require judges to make it an Olympic Sport. People see that as a knock on it. I do not.

You see, many other Olympic Sports require judges. Ice Skating, Gymnastics, Synchronized Swimming, Snowboarding, they all require judges. And each and every time, there seems to be at least some small controversy over how a judge gave a score. And so it shall always be. Until we get rid of those sports. And until we get rid of those sports Professional Wrestling should be in the mix. Think about it. Professional Wrestling is judged by the fans week in and week out. I argue that the fans are more critical judges of Professional Wrestling than the judges of any other sport. So while there would be mistakes in the judging process, name one sport that hasn't had that problem ever.

Matches can be judged in a very efficient manner. Points can be awarded for how well they get the crowd involved. Points are given for technique, variety, mat sense, high risk, and how well the finish of the match is executed.

For those of you who are unaware, and most likely ignorant of everything that Professional Wrestling is about, the wrestlers themselves work together to put on as good a match as they know how in the amount of time given. That is about as bluntly as I can put it. Now, what would doubles ice skating be described as? The skaters themselves work together to put on as good a performance as they know how in the amount of time given. See a pattern here? Insert any other sport that involves judges and the result is basically the same sentence.

But, you argue, Professional Wrestling is not an Olympic Sport because of the same reason American Football is not. It is only in America. I say, you know nothing. Professional Wrestling is big all over the world. Each region has its own style. America has a mix of everything, much like our culture. Mexico has a fast paced, death defying Luchador style. Japan has a very scientific, very technical Strong style. The list goes on and on. Professional Wrestling is all over the globe, so don't bother with the American Football argument.

Professional Wrestling would be an enormous addition to the Olympic Games. More people would go to them just to see the amazing displays that you would not get to see anywhere else. I mean, imagine having a Professional Wrestling Renaissance every 4 years. Tons of people would fly halfway around the world to witness such an event. I know I would. I would pay anything to see such a spectacle. They label WrestleMania as The Showcase of the Immortals, but the Olympic Games of Professional Wrestling would truly deserve that title.

In conclusion, I say this to all you Olympic people who would be against my idea: Until you are willing to give up your Ice Skating, your Gymnastics, and your Snowboarding, you must give Professional Wrestling a shot. It will overwhelm your expectations, and make you bastards that much richer.

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