We Had A System!

by Jason DeShaw

We had a system, a system for online chatting.  This system as I call it was the small groups of abbreviations used to tell whether one was away, or laughing (among others).  They were "brb" (be right back) and "lol" (laugh out loud).  Now, these were the terms we agreed on, these are what we all figured would work.  Sure, if I'm laughing, I'll just put "lol" and they will understand.  If I put "brb" I'm away obviously.  Then, I'm not sure where or when, but things took a turn for the worst

I forget my exact age, but it was at least 4 years ago.  I was probably talking to some weird Internet stalker.  I'm not sure who it was, but its where it all began.  "afk" they said to me.  At first I thought it was some weird typo.  I look down at my fingers, move them over each one, trying to figure out what they meant.  Eventually I ask them, Did you just type some random letters?  I don't understand.  They didn't respond.  Eventually they came back, and told me what they meant.  "Away From Keyboard" they told me is what it meant away from keyboard

What the fuck.  What the fuck.  We had a system!  Ok, ok, maybe I'm just getting worked up over this, I mean, its just "afk," and hardly anyone says it.  I can deal with it

Lmao.  Rofl.  That's where I cracked.  I don't even really like "lol" but I accept it.  I know when someone types "lol" they most likely aren't actually laughing out loud.  Son of a bitch though, I cant take "lmao" or "rofl!"  I just cant take it.  I hate them so much.  Why, why were these created!?  You obviously aren't rolling on the floor laughing, because you fucking typed "rofl."  Your ass isn't being laughed off; you are too busy sitting on it.  For the love of god, stop the insanity!

Why did you destroy the system, why did people make up these new things?  Maybe I'm just dumb, but I cant stand them at all.  When someone says one of them to me, I just cant take it. I crack.  We had a system until stupid online nerds had to go mix things up.  Maybe they wanted to feel popular; maybe they wanted to feel cool.  All I know is I hate the people who created them.

I'm begging of you, please, do not give in to these new terms.  If you don't, one day we will just all be typing in some sort of incomprehensible code.  I know the only ones I ever use are "brb" and sometimes if I'm actually doing it lol.  So for now, I'll c ya l8ter.

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