There comes a time in many people’s lives where they think about aliens.  Are we all alone in the universe?  Are aliens around us now?  What did happen at Roswell?  Is the government telling the truth when it comes to aliens?  Are there cover-ups and conspiracies that even the President doesn’t know about?

Sometimes these questions lead to somewhat productive paths.  Writers, for example.  Science fiction is a genre that produces many interesting stories.  These can make us think and wish for a better future. 

Both Star Wars and Star Trek are good examples.  Star Wars is a story loved by millions.  Star Trek is a hope for a better future.  X-Files made us think about what we know.

However, then there are those who take this fascination with aliens a few steps too far.

They start by alleging that the government is hiding the fact that we will be invaded.  They assign special meaning to dates such as the end of the Mayan calendar.  They do all these things and talk about them on the internet.

There are many stages after this.  Some follow the path of living alone, scared out of their mind, wearing tinfoil hats.  Others still lead relatively normal lives, only are slightly obsessive about UFOs.  Some people are actually PAID MONEY to research aliens and encounters and abductions. 

These last people can gather a following and can write actual books about aliens, UFOs, abductions, and government cover-ups.  While these kinds of books can be entertaining from a "what if" standpoint, many of them are written in a way that they want to be taken seriously.  The authors seem to believe every word they write.  Some just write to make money off the paranoid and "out there" audience, and I can respect those, but others do believe.

Now, you just read through that so that I can relate this small story to you, and then make my three points. 

I was listening to the radio a few days ago.  It was late at night, and that is when the "freak" shows come on.  You know what I mean.  The shows where the host talks about cover-ups, conspiracies, etc. and the callers are even more whacked out than he is.  You hear the best stuff on these shows. 

Anyway, I just turned it so I didn’t hear what the show was.  Apparently there was an author like I described as a special guest.  The host (who I believe was George Noory) and the author discuss aliens and all that.  Then, right at the end, the host asked the author a question:  "How would you feel if we had alien contact tomorrow?"

"I would feel vindicated."

That’s the story.  That’s really it.  Don’t you feel good that you read all the way for that?

Well, when I heard that question and answer, three thoughts came to mind simultaneously (I’m very talented like that). 

Number 1:  The ultimate motive for people who research and write about UFOs and aliens is that when we make contact with them, or confirm that they exist, they can point to everyone else and say, "AHAHAHA, I WAS FUCKING RIGHT, AND YOU WERE FUCKING WRONG, AHAHAHA!" 

Number 2:  The best part of number one will be when it is discovered that this first confirmed alien contact is, in fact, the VERY FIRST alien contact, and all that they think they know is meaningless.  There was no cover-up, no conspiracy, no hidden invasion scheme the government knew about.  That will be classic.

Number 3:  The scary part of it all is that if/when aliens do make contact with us, these people could swing a fairly large hammer of influence.  I can see how it will play out.  Every news channel will have 24 hour coverage with all sorts of "specialists" who will come on and talk out of their ass because they wrote a book speculating on aliens. 

And so number 3 leads back to the title of this article:  I hope we never know.

StretPharmacist is a lot like the Undertaker:  A gimmick that should have never gotten over, but was taken to unbelievable heights.  Also, he is constantly injured.