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My Increasing Laziness
by Jason DeShaw

At Work:

"I have to get up and walk over there?  Ugh."

"What?  Now I have to get up again?  Double Ugh."

"So now I have to turn around to put this book on my cart?  Seriously?"

"So let me get this straight.  I have to reach that thing all the way on the other side of the desk?"

"Man, I have to use a combination of numbers and letters for this one?  Huff."

"So now I have to switch from using the keyboard, to the mouse, and back to the keyboard?  Uggghhh."

"My God, I have to use two hands to type this location code?  Damn you hsbks!  Why can't you be more like szstx?"

In the Kitchen:

"There is really no point in washing just those two dishes.  I'll wait."

"I don't have time to wash those four dishes.  I'll wash them after dinner."

"Now there are tons of dishes, I'll have to schedule some time to do those later."

"I'm out of dishes, so I'll just use paper towels."

"Well now I just have to clean my whole kitchen.  That'll have to wait for this weekend."

"It's the weekend, I don't want to do dishes."

"What do you mean it stinks in here?  How am I supposed to know that?  Want to do my dishes?  No?  Darn."

On Going to Class:

"I'm feeling sick so I'll just go to the important classes."

"Now I'm really sick, so I won't go to any classes."

"I'm feeling better now, but I didn't hand in my homework for my class since I was sick, so I won't go today."

"I haven't been to my class in 7 days, what's one more going to hurt?"

On Doing Homework:

"I have plenty of time to do my homework.  Why do it now?"

"I still have a few days to do my homework, I'm good to go."

"I don't have enough time to do all my homework, so I'll prioritize and do the important stuff."

"I don't know how to do this homework, so I won't."

"I guess I have to drop this class."

At Home:

"I'll surf the internet."

"I'll surf the internet."

"Ooo a comic book!"

"I'll surf the internet."

"Maybe I should just write an article about how lazy I am."