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Sports Analysts:  Retarded?  Part Two
By: Brady Lewis

Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Championships.  The Detroit Pistons vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Cavs are down 2 with seconds to go.  LeBron James drives to the hoop.  Two defenders close the gap on him.  He’s double-teamed.  Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spots a wide open Donyell Marshall, who in a previous game against the New Jersey Nets hit six 3-pointers.  He makes a great pass and Marshall takes the shot.  No one is near him.  MISS!  DISASTER!  CAVS LOSE!

Next day, sports analysts absolutely go nuts.

But not how you’d expect.  Or actually, exactly how I would expect.

"Lay off Lebron James, he made the right call."

"He was double teamed, he had to make that pass."

"The refs weren’t calling anything, he wasn’t going to get the foul, so he made the right play and passed it off."

"Everyone who is talking about how LeBron needs to take that shot should calm down.  He made the right choice."

"LeBron haters need to just shut up, he made the right play."

"If Marshall makes that shot, we are instead talking about LeBron’s amazing court vision, not his decision to pass."

"We want LeBron to be the next Jordan, but he is not the next Jordan.  He plays more like Magic."

"It is early in his career, let’s let LeBron become the next LeBron, not the next Jordan or Magic."

This was repeated on every sports show for 3 days.  The basic premise was that everyone should lay off of LeBron James for not taking the shot.  He was being double teamed by Rasheed Wallace, who had a few blocks already that game, and Tayshawn Prince, who is a premier defender.  He passed it to a wide open Donyell Marshall, who is a good shooter.  SO LAY THE FUCK OFF HIM ALREADY!

Which is all fine and good.  I mean, yeah, we should lay off LeBron.  He made a good choice.  But do you know what would make this an even better point?

IF ANYONE WAS ARGUING THAT LEBRON SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE SHOT!

That’s right.  I have yet to hear anyone say that LeBron should have taken the shot.  Everyone says that he made the right call.  I only hear analysts say he was wrong when playing devil’s advocate. 

And again, this wouldn’t be so bad under normal circumstances.  The problem lies in the fact that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THEY AND ONLY THEY ARE DEFENDING LEBRON JAMES, AND EVERYONE ELSE IS BASHING HIM.  THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO SEE LEBRON AS AN AWESOME PLAYER IN THE FACE OF THIS ONE SINGLE PLAY. 

It is maddening.  Just deal with the fact that you agree with the majority.  Stop pretending to be in the minority.  It makes you look retarded.  Oh wait, you are.