PsychoNoble - Hatometer

Please answer the following set of questions related to surveys. Use the following scale:

4 - Kind of sort of agree, but I might not it depends on my mood at the time.

1 - The passion with which I tend to disagree with this statement is so overwhelming that I can’t even look at it without my left eye uncontrollably flinching and my desire to live in this world a moment longer melting down in a puddle of hatred and despair.

___ 1.	I love taking surveys with an overabundance of the same questions in them over and over again so that I can get a rating that tells me something about myself that I already know.
___ 2.	I think surveys are super cool.
___ 3.	I like giving out my information to 3^rd parties so that they can better serve my needs and more importantly my wants as a consumer!
___ 4.	Answering complex questions with simple answers like, “strongly agree” makes me want to kill children on the eve of Christmas morn.
___ 5.	Spending time with guidance counselors is a waste of time.
___ 6.	Spending time with guidance counselors is not a waste of time.
___ 7.	Spending time with guidance counselors can be informational.
___ 8.	Spending time with guidance counselors is a waste of time.
___ 9.	If I had a nickel for every survey I’ve taken that I liked… Wait, I can’t count.
___ 10.	I often fondle myself with Abba blaring on my IPOD.
___ 11.	In the presence of surveys I find that I HATE MY LIFE!
___ 12.	I truly believe that every time another person takes a stupid survey and enjoys themselves that an angel gets it’s wings and that a terrorist gets by security at the airport.
___ 13.	Surveys sometimes have questions on them that don’t make any sense to be answered with one of the 5 choices given.
___ 14.	I think that the “neutral” option is retarded.
___ 15.	Sex is always fun none of the time on Wednesdays through Tuesdays. Breakfast pie.
___ 16.	I think that the “neutral” option is retarded.
___ 17.	My answers for “14” and “16” are the same.
___ 18.	I think surveys are super cool.
___ 19.	I think that a good way to get an accurate psychological measurement of a person is to flatly and coldly ask them on paper how they feel on a scale about certain things, while randomly inserting double negatives so that I can ask one question multiple times to get a more accurate reading.
___ 20.	I think that if anyone ever checked to see if the answers were consistent or not, that they would find they are not.
___ 21.	A hypothesis to account for why the answers to essentially the same question would be inconsistent with one another is that people just erratically put down a number because they think that surveys are stupid.
___ 22.	I think that any person with the IQ of a 2^nd grader could tweak the results of a survey like this one, by simply putting down the number that they know will make them look like the person they want to be.
___ 23.	Surveys can go to hell.
___ 24.	Surveys are a waste of time.
___ 25.	Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa) There is nothing we can do Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa) We just have to face it, this time were through (this time were through, this time were through This time were through, were really through) Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go

Look back over questions: 4,5,8,11,12,13,14,16,21,22,23,24 and add together the corresponding coefficients (don’t know what a coefficient is? – no big deal just skip to the next direction, this one won’t matter for you anyway) that you assigned to them. Write your total below on line (A).

Look back over questions: 1,2,3,6,7,9,10,18,19 and add together the numbers on the lines next to them (can’t add? – no big deal, I’ll tell you right now, wait for it, drumroll, wait for it, now: you’re an idiot). Write your total below on line (B).

Look back over questions: 15, 17, 20, 25 and reflect on how meaningless they were to your score. If you want you can add the corresponding coefficients to these questions together and then write that answer on your hand so you’ll never forget it. However, this isn’t recommended.

If (A) is above 45 chances are, you aren’t an idiot. Still I wouldn’t be too sure, these surveys can sometimes be inaccurate. Also, consider careers involving tough math equations and that do not deal with people, because a high score here defines you as an antisocial who most people will dislike, but who is also talented and likes to be challenged.

If (A) is below 30 chances are, you are an idiot. Pat yourself on the back though, because at least you aren’t dead, which means you’ve made it further than many idiots just like you. Also, consider careers that supposedly help people, like high school guidance counselor or door greeter at places like Bestbuy and Walmart, because a low score here defines you as a person that will like anything that involves no critical thinking whatsoever.

If (B) is above 20 chances are, you are an idiot. But hey if you aren’t paralyzed, at least you have that going for you.

If (B) is below 15 chances are, you are no longer reading this, because you gave up on an idiotic survey long ago.