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Introduction
The following stories are based
on my dealings with the entity known as Coho Real Estate. I've
tried to make them as accurate as possible, referring to
emails/letters/testimony/other documents that I've saved. All
grammatical errors from direct quotes are included. All other
quotes come from the best of my memory. Before
we begin though, let me give you some background information.
Coho Real Estate is a large
organization in the Greater Seattle area owning a multitude of apartment
buildings, many of which are in the area I currently live. They
naively provide "The
Lowest Price Guaranteed!" For poor college students like myself,
this can be quite alluring. Most of the places in this area are
lousy as it is, so you might as well go for the cheapest. And that
was the logic I used when I first moved into a Coho building,
specifically, Dry Creek Apartments. I was looking to move into a
one-bedroom and wanted to find a deal. I needed a place for the
summer and the year following it. Responding to Coho's ad, they
offered me a great deal. They didn't have any one-bedrooms for the
summer, but they could give me a two-bedroom for super cheap, plus a
free month of rent off the one-bedroom. Basically, it was too good
to be true (see: Foreshadowing).
And this my friends is where my
epic tale shall begin. I give to you, The Chronicles of Coho Real
Estate.
The Incompetent Resident
Manager
I speak with the Dry Creek manager on the
phone (he lets me know about the deal) and I let him know I can swing by right away. The new place
is actually on the same block that I currently live, so it only takes me
a few minutes to get there. I get there and buzz his apartment.
No answer. I buzz again. I look around. I call the
manager again while standing outside the building and he doesn't answer
the phone. I'm not sure what to do or think, so I just walk back
home.
About fifteen minutes later I
get a call, from the manager. He was wondering who just called
him from this number. I tell him who I am and that I just came by and he wasn't
there. Apparently he just forgot that we agreed to meet five
minutes ago and went to show some other people around. A little
annoyed, I
tell him I'll just walk back over.
I arrive, again, and the
manager is actually there. Upon meeting him, its plain to see that
he is one of those people completely oblivious to their surroundings.
Perhaps a stoner, perhaps just super laid back, either way, you know
what type of person I'm talking about.
We head upstairs to take a look
at the one-bedroom. The lay-out leaves much to be desired, but
this isn't the actual room I would get. We can't see that room,
because the tenant won't let us in. Good to see the manager wields
authority... The room I'm
looking at pretty much just has a kitchen for a wall, a "living room"
for the other, and at the end of what seems like a hall is the bedroom.
You can tell it's a bedroom because they built a wall separating the
rooms. I ask what my room will be like, and he tells me that the
kitchen is laid out differently, that it's in the corner or something.
I figure that even though it's a little small, it is just for me, and
if the kitchen is different, all the better.
I ask about utilities and I
find out that I'd have to pay for water/sewage/garbage (which is one
bill). I'm not sure how it works for other places, but for
U-District apartments in Seattle, normally this is paid for (leaving
only electricity and whatever else you buy (cable/internet/etc.)).
This too is kind of a bummer, but for some reason I still want this
place, pretty much because I'm getting such a great deal. Believe me, there
are worse places out there. I've seen some dumps and compared to those,
this place ain't so bad.
Side Note: By not paying for
water/sewer/garbage, Coho is able to have the "Lowest Price Guaranteed!"
even though I still have no idea how they calculate or enforce that
standard by any means. For example, is it price per square foot or
per bedroom or what? Either way I swear they are liars, but that
is purely speculation.
So I pick up an application and
we set a time to meet again. Time passes...
However much time later and I
am back. Once again I must completely reintroduce myself and
explain that he showed me around. After a little bit of recap he
finally remembers who I am again and opens with, "Yeah... so... Um...
you never gave me a security deposit so I wasn't able to actually hold
the place... umm... yeah..." Ok, two things here. One, he
never asked for a security deposit. If he asked for any type of
money I would have, you know, given it too him. And two, I don't
even know why he brought it up, because I ask, "Oh... so is it taken
now?" and it isn't. So I don't even understand the point of
raising this issue if I could just give it to him now, but whatever.
Thus begins the arduous task of filling out a lease.
What happens over the next hour
or so is him trying to figure out how this is all going to work.
I'm getting a special deal and I'll be switching from a two-bedroom to a
one-bedroom after the summer ends. I sit and wait, for way way too
long, as he tries to calculate how much I'm paying per month (with a
calculator I might add) while I sit and read over the lease. A few
voided checks and three leases later, I've finally got a place to
live.
With my future secured, I bid
the manager farewell. To be fair, he did seem like a nice guy, but
perhaps not someone you want running a building. Either way, he
insures me he'll be around for at least the next year, so I'll see him
in a few months when I move in.
Before I go any further, let
me just say a few things. I should have realized this was a bad
situation. This manager had no clue what was going on, the place
wasn't that nice, I have yet to see the actual apartment I was moving
into, and it was a grueling task just to fill out a lease. Really,
the only thing I had on my side was that it was cheap. Yet, for
some reason, I was OK with all of this. Looking back, I wonder
what I was thinking. I wanted my own place and was
willing to take pretty much anything coming my way. Live and learn
I suppose.
Moving In
A few months later I move into my temporary
two-bedroom apartment for the summer. This is the first time I saw
the place and it was actually fairly large. Sure, one of the
bedrooms didn't have a closet and also had "French doors" for a wall
(French doors make them sound classy, but they weren't. It was
more like just two crappy wood doors), but that didn't matter to me.
My manager doesn't have time to do a walk through
with me, so we have to do it later. 'Later' ends up being a week
and a half later. Why I even tried to get a walkthrough I don't
even know, because its not really my responsibility, but eventually we
got one. I ask about holes in the walls and he tells me he just
uses toothpaste to fill them in. Good to know. If you're
going to have a laid back manager, this is the way to go.
A few days later I get a note on my door.
It's from a new manager introducing himself... so much for that guy
being around for the next year. According to the note, things
haven't been getting done around the apartment so he's going to
straighten things out. This means laid
back guy was fired and hard-ass guy hired. Hoorah?
The next day I get a note on my door saying I owe
$7 and some cents (apparently my old manager calculated the first months
rent wrong). It's only seven dollars, but still, annoying that I
have to pay it.
The rest of the summer goes by pretty
uneventfully. It is not until I move into my actual one-bedroom
that all hell breaks loose.
Moving In Part Two
There is some confusion as to when I'll actually
get to move into my new apartment. With the whole moving upstairs
in the same building thing and two leases, I really needed to know when
I could move in. At this point I was working two jobs so I would
definitely need some time off to do this. After five or six emails
back and forth with the manager, I learn that I'll be able to move up starting
at 10am on Friday. Here are some direct quotes from the emails:
"You can move in as soon as they are done which
should be about 10:00. Again, you won't be charged extra for being in 16
on the first. I will come and let you know when they finish on the
morning of the 1st." Next
email: "I will plan on
doing a dual move in move out with you on Friday morning at 10:00."
Excellent. I take the day off Friday and I'm
all set. It's Thursday
afternoon around 3pm and I just got home from my first job.
I have to eat dinner soon and head to my next job. I get a knock
on my door. It's the manager. He's unlocked the door for my
new apartment and says I can start moving in. Well, that's all
well and good, but I only have about a few hours max before I have to leave
for work. I wasn't really, you know, ready to start moving yet
being as it's the day before, but whatever. But then he drops
another bombshell. I need to be done by noon tomorrow, because
that is when he told the other people they can move into my place. YAY! I spend the next few
hours hauling whatever I can up and down flights of stairs before work.
I can't do any of this after work (which would be at 11pm) because I
don't actually have the keys for my new place. I get those when I
return my current ones. So the door will be locked again later and
leaving me to do as much as I can before work. I'd have to say the
best feeling is getting to work already feeling exhausted. I mean,
what's better than working all day, coming home, unexpectedly moving for
a few hours, then working some more? I don't know, but it probably
ranks somewhere between getting punched in the gut and kicked in the
face. It's OK though, because I took Friday off! Woo!
The New Place
What I didn't mention was what I discovered when I
first saw what would be my new home for the next year. Apparently,
it was exactly like the apartment that I originally saw (the one I
didn't really like) except reversed. Thanks old apartment manager!
Oh well, I'll live with it (I have too).
While I was moving in Thursday afternoon, I was able
to get a walkthrough of my new place. Here are some key things.
I had no blinds. My kitchen light didn't work properly (it just
flickered). There was a bunch of weird paint marks on the walls,
obviously attempted to be painted over, but to no avail. There was a
hole in my front closet door. A BIG hole. And finally there
was one thing I didn't notice until after the walkthrough. While
taking my first poop, I nearly fell over sitting down because the toilet
wasn't secured to the floor. THE TOILET WASN'T SECURED TO THE
FLOOR. Anyways, I let my manager know about all of these things
and awaited maintenance to come by shortly.
Friday morning finally comes around and I'm
exhausted, but at least I've got some more help moving. Somehow, someway,
we get everything into my new apartment before noon. I have to
admit, it looked pretty ridiculous. I guess I got used to living
in a two-bedroom like space, because my new place looked more like a
storage closet then a one-bedroom. Not to mention I was living
with my girlfriend during the summer and all of her stuff was stuffed in
there as well. So we have all of my stuff, my girlfriend's stuff,
me, my girlfriend, my parents, and my sister all stuffed into this
little space. It was nearly impossible to walk around, let alone try
to set up furniture. This is when I first realized that this
apartment doesn't have good ventilation. Basically, the apartment
is like a long hallway with a window at the end. No air
circulation. My sister almost passes out. We're dying in
there.
I Want My Keys!
Did I mention I still didn't have the keys to this
place yet? The manager comes up with all of us in there, and I
give him the keys to my old place and he lets me know I need to pay him
for the first month's rent. I let him know I don't have my keys
yet. He is busy and leaves, so I write my rent check and get it
ready. He comes back looking for the check. I give it to him
and ask for my keys. He says something along the lines of, "Oh I
didn't give those to you yet?" No. He leaves for awhile and
we continue to try to organize my place. About thirty minutes
later the manager comes back. "Finally!" I think to myself.
He asks, "Wait so, did I get that rent check from you?" I remind
him that yes, I did in fact give him the money. I ask if he has my
keys and once again he is astounded that he has yet to give them to me.
He leaves again. About a half an hour later, he
finally comes back and gives me the keys. I am now able to lock my
apartment AND get back in! Simply amazing.
The Note From 9/12
It's been nearly two weeks now since I've moved
into my new place and nothing has been fixed. I come home to find
a note on my door:
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