A Side Note About Maintenance

Sometime between my blinds getting fixed and my handwritten note about all my problems, the manager attempted to set up an online maintenance account where we could report our problems.  This sounded like a great idea, in theory.  Much like everything else, this didn't work.  I attempted to sign up (which for some reason I had to do via emailing the manager, I couldn't do it directly through the site) and my email address didn't work.  I have a Hotmail address, probably the most universal email address on the planet, and it didn't work.  My manager condescendingly tells me that the email response probably went to my junk mail folder and I didn't realize it.  Yeah, thanks, because I never would have thought of that on my own.  Well, that wasn't the problem and I don't know what was.  I also have a school email account, but he lets me know that from prior experience those also don't work.  My only option is to sign up for an entirely new email address specifically for this.  I figure that is stupid, so I don't.  Perhaps this lead to a longer wait for maintenance problems, but probably not, as the program was done away with before I eventually moved out.

The Toilet Story Continued

Once again, at this time I was working nights and didn't get home until nearly 11pm.  The day in which my toilet was to be fixed was one such night and I remember it quite clearly...

I come into my apartment and head straight for the bathroom (I had to go).  Out of the corner of my eye, I see my paper towel roll on the counter is empty.  I don't think anything of it.  I enter the bathroom and believe it or not, the toilet is secured to the ground.  I enjoy being able to sit and not have to balance myself for the first time in a month (Yes, I am going into lots of detail here, but believe me, I am going somewhere with this).  I reach to grab some toilet paper and I notice something odd.  The toilet paper roll is on backwards.  Yes, maybe I am anal (pun INTENDED!) about this, but I do have a way I put it on, with the end of the roll on the outside towards me, not the inside towards the wall.  Well, this is quite odd, but perhaps the last person in here changed it.  It's weird, but whatever.  I get up and go to wash my hands and things start to fall into place.  The entire countertop around the sink is a gigantic puddle.  All of a sudden the dots start to connect in my head.  I go back out into the kitchen and look at my empty paper towel roll (and also realize all of my napkins are gone).  Oh God no...  I go back to the bathroom and notice the floor mats are in disarray.  No no no...  Paper products missing... floor mats not in their proper place, water all over the sink... something terribly wrong happened here today.  An image appears in my head: water gushing from where the toilet should be, splattering my entire bathroom, the maintenance guy scrambling for any paper product he can find.  What.  The.  Hell.

Luckily, I had a few extra paper towel rolls hidden away that maintenance couldn't find (as opposed to the brand new batch of toilet paper under the sink he found and opened to unsuccessfully try to sneak in a replacement roll) which I used to clean up the excess water in my bathroom.  Exhausted, upset, and confused, I go to bed.  I never discovered what happened there that day, but perhaps some things are best left unknown.

I Can't Catch A Break (The Hot Water Heater Story)

I'm not sure how much later it was after the toilet incident (no more than a week) I started noticing my water temperature was acting strangely.  One morning I would have to take an ice cold shower (or more likely, I would opt to just not shower) or I would have to attempt to take a shower as quickly as possible as the temperature became hotter and hotter to the point of scalding me.  This lasted for a few days before I realized something was seriously wrong with my hot water heater.  Of course I couldn't put up a request online, because that didn't work.  I knew emailing my manager usually took a few days to get a response, so that wouldn't work either.  My only option was to leave a note telling him my hot water heater was broken (side note: one reason I could hardly ever see my manager in person is because his "office hours" were always while I was at work).

While I wait for maintenance, I'm curious as to what is actually causing such a weird hot water heater problem, so I looked it up online.  I discovered the problem easily enough.  Apparently the thermostat that regulates how hot the water gets was broken, so the water kept getting hotter and hotter until it flipped an emergency switch to shut off my water heater.  This is why I kept getting scalding hot water or ice cold.

I come home from school the next day to find a note in my apartment:

Jigga-wha?  No!  Alright, so, looks like it's not getting fixed today.  I once again write another note, specifically stating what is wrong with my hot water heater (the thermostat problem) and leave another note on my manager's door before I head out for work that evening.

The next day I am at home with maintenance stops by.  Excellent.  I tell the guy exactly what is wrong with the hot water heater and let him go about his business.  I do whatever for the next few minutes while he clunks around in my closet.  Eventually he pops back out and says something along the lines of, "Alright so I turned down the thermostat and we'll see if that does anything."  I pretty much just stare in shock for a few seconds.  THE THERMOSTAT IS WHAT IS BROKEN!  I remind him of this fact, but he refuses to believe it and leaves me with a "we'll wait and see."  Thanks, thanks a lot.  While you are "waiting" and "seeing" I'm going to be "not showering" and being "quite uncleanly" and "living in third world conditions without a working water heater."

Well, believe it or not, the next day rolls by and GASP my hot water heater is still broken.  For the third time I have to let my manager know that I still have a broken hot water heater and it needs to be fixed.  For the love of God it's been over a week now!

A night or two later I come home late again from work and turn on the water and hope to God it's fixed.  Hmmmm... warm... warm... anticipating third degree burn... not yet... hoorah!  I swing open my closet and I apparently have a brand new hot water heater.  I'm no hot water heater expert, but I would have just thought they needed to fix the thermostat, not replace the whole thing, but whatever, I'm fine with it.  For the first time in awhile I jump in the shower and take a nice long not burning my skin or freezing my ass off shower.

Afterwards, I'm still in a pretty good mood, from being clean and all, so I figure I'm going to stay up late.  I open up my fridge, grab some food, and wait what...  Oh, my fridge light must have burned out.  That's weird, but whatever I guess.  I close the door and just stand there for a few seconds thinking (remember, I'm slower at this time of night).  Oh no.  I quickly open the door again and put my hand inside.  Please no.  I just as quickly close the door again and open the freezer.  Splish splash no!  MY FRIDGE ISN'T WORKING!  How... how can this be.  I look around and see that everything else is working... so why not the fridge!?  Now at this point, I haven't been home for 5 or 6 hours, which means my food has been sitting there going bad for awhile now.  I scramble around trying to think of the problem.  Looking back on it, I should have realized it quicker, but instead I ran around testing outlets with my lamp.  I discovered my outlet with the fridge wasn't working.  I find my circuit breakers and take a look.  Nothing is labeled, great.  Once again, I probably should have just realized it was the switch that was in a different direction from all the others, but I didn't.  I start flipping switches like no other as my apartment goes from dark to light and all my clocks reset.  Finally, I hear the magic hum of my fridge as I find the right circuit breaker.  What the hell?

I figure one of two things happened.  One, they somehow blew the circuit that leads to my fridge.  Or two, and more likely, they just turned off the power to install the hot water heater and never turned it back on.  Which, by the way, it makes no sense as to why that circuit breaker would be off, since the one that the hot water heater was in was obviously on (and not connected to the fridge), since I just took a shower.

Alas, some soggy food and a few clock resets later, I go to bed.

Taking Things Into My Own Hands

There is one last thing that really needs to get fixed and that is my kitchen lights.  From day 1 my manager has known that these need to be fixed.  If it was as simple as buying some bulbs it wouldn't be a big deal, but something more is obviously wrong.  When I turn on the lights, they just sort of flicker, half-way on.  And again, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, except for the way my apartment is set up, the kitchen is the first place I enter.  What this amounts to is a lot of annoying bumbling around looking for a light switch half way into my apartment when I come home late at night and it's dark.

After six weeks, I've had enough.  I am not going to deal with maintenance any longer.  Now I'm calling in the big guns!  And by big guns, I of course mean my handy-man Dad.  He knows electrical stuff and I'm an ignorant college student, so sue me.

Well, my Dad heads on over with his fancy tool-kit and we take a look-see at the lights.  We take apart the light fixture and it doesn't take any expert to see what the problem is.  The ballast is completely melted.  Basically, it's just a hunk of black melted plastic.  The obvious conclusion is that we need to replace the entire fixture.  A quick stroll to the local hardware store and we've got ourselves a brand new fixture.  A little bit of work later and wah-lah!  I have working kitchen lights for the first time since I moved in.  No more early morning/late night stumbling around making breakfast/dinner for me.

The total came to $62.51, but of course, I wasn't going to pay for that.  So I send this email to my manager...

He got this email in return...

I actually get not one, but two emails back apologizing to me and I get my money refunded.  Jason - 1, Coho a billion, but at least I'm on the board now.  Ah yes, I remember now, in an ironic twist my manager also informs me that Coho has decided to do a building wide improvement and he'll be coming by asking what I would like to have changed.  Safe to say, my list was extensive, not that it actually matters though.  I lived there for the rest of the year and through the summer and the only thing that I saw change was they repainted the doors, and not even repainted well.

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Jaybird currently resides in Seattle where he reads comics, works in a library, and writes for this site.  He has also been known to blow your mind, rock your world, and eat pizza.