First off I would like to start off by saying that I have finally got off my ass and working on this site again. Yes, I am alive hopefully. Next I would like to thank the PsychoNoble crew for not bitching at me for my laziness (after all that is what this site is about right). Now to get down to business.
After returning to school for my senior year, which I expected to be one of the most fun, I was horrified to find out over the summer that the dick heads in charge of school had yet again changed the rules on us. See, back in 7th grade this little thing called Columbine happened (don't like that I use it in this, then I say, FUCK YOU) and the school administrators decided that it would be a good idea to take away backpacks. Ok, I can handle that. Your locker was next to your classes, making it easy to move from one class to another and go to your locker. Now a few years had passed and it was my first year at high school. I was astounded as anyone to learn that backpacks were allowed in the classrooms. This made it easy to move from class to class. You see unlike Jr. high, the lockers are not next to ANY classrooms, they have their own little part of the building. Last year, my junior year, the school starts remodeling. Ok, I can deal with pounding and drilling while trying to take notes on Standard Deviation, why Rome fell, or how salt reacts in water. All the rooms were going to be torn down and rebuilt so teachers didn't care if you had food or drink in the class. Summer came and went and its the first day of school. I have my backup with my cool Bic Colorz pencils; my color coated folders with matching notebooks. I go to my first class, Advanced Math. My teacher looks at kids that walks in with their backpack and sit in a desk. The first thing she says to us is (and I quote), "so they didn't tell the students yet? Backpacks are not allowed in the class room anymore." "Why," someone asks. "Because you can easily bring a weapon, such as a gun or knife into school and we wouldn't want a repeat of Columbine would we." I think of all the kids who would have the balls to bring a gun to school. I can think of two maybe three. Am I worried, No? If some kid decides that I don't disserve to live anymore, I must have done something to fuck his life up good.
Now you are probably asking what does all this have to do with gun control? Like most I believe in some kind of gun control. Unlike most I don't feel that taking guns away is the answer. No, I believe that GIVING guns away is the right way to go. On your 18th birthday the government sends you a package. Inside this package there is a porno movie, a cigar, a role of quarters (so you can go gamble them away (god only knows that the American Indians need more money (yes, I am making fun of them being poor. Also, I am not racist, I just hate everybody.))), a letter, and a catalog. Now you are sure what the other stuff is, but curiosity did kill the cat and you open the letter, it says something like this, Happy 18th birthday, Here is your present. You can pick out the gun you want from the enclosed catalog. Blah blah blah. HOLY SHIT, you think. They are just going to give ME a gun THAT'S AWESOME! You make your choice and send in the correct forms. A few weeks later the mailman knocks on your door, and before you know it you're the proud owner of an AK-47.
Now, you're thinking, fuck this guy, tons of people will get killed. I say, good we don't have enough space to house these people any way. And its not like I would give bullets away too. I would raise the price of bullets to an extra high level. Like about 5,000 bucks a bullet (Chris Rock). There does that make you happy?
Now lets review the pros of everybody having a gun:
1: there is now no need for a standing military.
2: you can always feel safe when you have a death machine under your jacket.
3: less people = more stuff for you like food, water, and most all the ever precious air.
4: its a fucking free gun.
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