Health Babbling
by Jason DeShaw

Intro:

    Health class is dumb and brain numbing.  On a most brain numbing day in particular, I took out a piece of paper, and wrote the article below.  I am copying it directing from the paper to the computer, leaving all incorrect grammar and spelling errors aside, as to show the current state of mind I was in.

Article:

    I am currently sitting in health class as I write this (we take health as seniors here) yep, ol paper and pencil.  Our assignment today... study for the test tomorrow.  This is so incredibly dumb.

    As I look at the clock, it is 10:50.  Class gets out at 11:35.  Damnit.  I hate this class.  I have my health book open next to me right now to appear as if I am taking notes or something.  I just turned back a page.  The Health Continuum is on this page.  It is a little line graph at the bottom of the page>  One end is high level of health, the other is premature death.  Why am I tested on this shit.  I am going to be tested on how the book tells me to be healthy.  This outdated book has its own theorys on what I should do to be healthy in life.  What makes this book right for me?  Why does everyone take the same test on this book?  has God sent down this book from the heavens and state "Follow this book and you will live a long , happy, healthy life, for this book knows no wrong is perfect"?  I think not.  I think this class is dumb.  Do they honestly expect me to write down everything before I make a decision, than analyse it to see if it was right?

    I like how they have these "Did You Know?" boxes on the side of the page.  One says, "People in the 15 -19 age group have the greatest risk of getting STDs, or sexually transmitted diseases.  the greatest factor in this risk is ignorance of the facts," which they follow up by stating no facts about STDs, or anything related to sex.  So really, they are saying "Did you know teens are screwed if they don't know the facts?  Haha, fuck them, I ain't tellin' yo!"

    I turn back to page 5 to see al Help Wanted Ad the book for some reason put in.  I think I think this is quite humerous because I wouldn't mind having a health teacher, but instead I have Mrs. Zeltner.  Instead of teaching, she shows crooked power points made from kids years ago.  Wait, a bell rang!... Damnit... first lunch is ending.  That means I still have 30 minutes.  Fuck, I've only been writing for 15 minutes.  Huff.  My hand is starting to ache with pain.  I think I will take a break and stare blankly.

    Well it's been another 5 minutes, I let Gavin read my paper.  He laughed.  I feel kinda bad, I think he saw me writing this and, thinking I've been taking notes, also started note-taking.  Poor Gavin.  Holy God a ton of freshmen and sophomores just ran to their classes as the bell rang.  The earth trembled like an earthquake.  Damnit, I'm out of paper.  Time: 11:12

Conclusion:

   I hate health.

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Picture can be found at Glencoe's official page found here.