AIM Faces Debunked: The True Meanings Revealed
By Jason DeShaw

    For many years, there has always been much controversy around the AOL Instant Messenger faces.  Well, behold my friends... through much time and research I have discovered the true meaning of these faces, and yes, I am going to share...

  Face #1

Common Misconceptions: Angry, Mad, Frustrated

True Meaning: Although commonly thought of as just being angry, it is actually much more in depth.  This face is the Angry Yawn.  Yes, the Angry Yawn.  This is the yawn you make in response to some dumb ass yawning right in front of you.  You know, the contagious ones, and then you try to not yawn and it just makes it worse.  Damn you yawns, damn you.

  Face #2

Common Misconceptions: Very Happy, Very Pleased

True Meaning: The closed eyes... the overly exaggerated smile... this can only be the dumb face you make when you get your picture taken.  Everyone knows what it looks like.  Its you, but it isn't you.  This is the face you make when you get a picture taken, and it never appears anywhere else in life.  That is what this face represents... the mystery that is... Photograph Face.

Face #3

Common Misconceptions: Confused, Awkward

True Meaning: You know, it's really hard for me to insult this face.  I mean, there was a day and age when I wouldn't use any AIM faces, except this one, the only one I found acceptable.  I mean, come on, look at it, it's so cool and perfect for so many things.  So, since this is my article, I say that I find this AIM face acceptable, and no new meaning is needed.

Face #4

Common Misconceptions: Cool

True Meaning: At first glance this may look as if it fits the "cool" meaning perfectly.  He is happy, eyebrows raised, and he's got the cool shades yo.  I think though, if you look closer, you will find the true meaning.  The mouth clearly has no teeth and the head is bald.  That's right folks, this is face is actually Mid-Life Crisis face.  All it needs is the little pony tail in back.

Face #5

Common Misconceptions: None

True Meaning: Mostly the reaction when this face is brought up is, "What the fuck does this face mean?"  Well, that is a good question my friend.  Just what the fuck does this face mean?  Well, I will reveal its true meaning to you.  The initial "S" on his mouth was branded onto him, for he is the Sadomasochist face.  So remember, when somebody uses this face in a conversation with you, think twice about getting into any sexual situations with them.

Face #6

Common Misconceptions: Ashamed, Embarrassed

True Meaning:  That color is just a tad off from blushing.  I think it's more along the lines of acne.  Yes, this poor geek has acne, and is sad about it.  So the obvious solution is to go onto some drugs that will make him super depressed and suicidal, because that is what this guy is, Accutane face.  For more information on this helpful drug, visit here.

Face #7

Common Misconceptions: None

True Meaning: He has a foot... for a mouth... This once again falls under the "What the fuck" category of faces.  Alas, I know what it means, so don't worry.  Notice the eyes, he looks a little wasted.  In his drunken state, he made a bet, where if he lost, he had to tattoo a foot onto his mouth.  He does not remember the bet, because he had a black-out, which means he is an alcoholic (thanks Ms Zeltner).  So this is Alcoholic Lost A Bet face.

Face #8

Common Misconceptions: Sad, Depressed

True Meaning: Ok, so maybe this guy is a little sad, a little depressed, but do you know why, because he is a pussy.  Yes, this is the Pussy face.  Whenever you feel inferior or afraid to do something, use this face to clearly represent yourself to others, you pussy.

Click to go to Page 2, where you will uncover more AIM face secrets...