StretPharmacist: stupid paper, I refuse to read this book, so I'm doing it the hard way
Jaybird: i hate reading books
Jaybird: especially dumb ones
StretPharmacist: if it didn't suck so bad
StretPharmacist: seriously, give me a decent book for once
StretPharmacist: I can only think of 2 in the last 3 years that I actually thought were good that the English Nazis made me read
Jaybird: no kidding
Jaybird: why are these books classics if no one likes them
Jaybird: why are we forced to read them
StretPharmacist: yeah, I have a theory
StretPharmacist: goes like this
StretPharmacist: English teachers are all sheeplike, what the leading mind says, the others do
StretPharmacist: so what happens is
StretPharmacist: some well respected professor claims that a certain book has a powerful message, and now all of a sudden it's a classic
StretPharmacist: this explains why most books are not "appreciated" during it's time
StretPharmacist: it takes 20-50 years for anyone to analyze it enough to think, hey, this is saying something
StretPharmacist: and in reality, it isn't saying anything
Jaybird: exactlly, it just takes that long for someone to make up some bullshit about it
StretPharmacist: case in point, and this is a true story
Jaybird: huckleberry finn doesnt represent society, i dont care what anyone says
StretPharmacist: when we read "The Old Man and The Sea"
StretPharmacist: Malm got all like, this symbolizes this, and this does this
StretPharmacist: so Tom Brantseg brought in a quote the next day from Hemmingway himself
StretPharmacist: "The Old Man is an Old Man, The Sea is The Sea, The Fish is The Fish" and also goes on to say that whatever people read into it isn't there
StretPharmacist: to which Malm replied "Well he doesn't know what he's talking about."
Jaybird: haha
StretPharmacist: which means that she doesn't know what she's talking about, as Hemmingway wrote the goddamn thing
Jaybird: no kiddin
Jaybird: g
Jaybird: oh my god, i just get angered hearing about stupid people like that
StretPharmacist: and if someone tells me again about how The Lord of The Rings symbolizes the weakness of man, drugs, or anything like that again, I will pull out my primary source material from Tolkien HIMSELF that states it is just a story that grew from his mind, and nothing else
Jaybird: i bet most stories are, i doubt authors sat down and wondered how to make this master creation symbolizing their story to something else
Jaybird: i bet they just wrote a story and people looking for symbolism did the rest
StretPharmacist: yep, although I can think of one that actually does it
StretPharmacist: The Crucible was indeed brought out in the time of McCarthyism, and so I believe that it was intended that way
Jaybird: i havnt read that
StretPharmacist: Basically, it's the Salem Witch Trials, and this is meant to compare them to the Red Scare, which in essence is the same thing, so I believe that it is the only one that actually does this
Jaybird: yeah, well i mean, im not saying no one puts symbolism into any of their writings, but i mean, the great gatsby and huckleberry finn, no i refuse to think so
StretPharmacist: correct, both books are just long winded and represent nothing, I fail to see the appeal
StretPharmacist: and I can already tell that this is going to be another year when I don't get along with my english teacher, so yeah, another typical year
Jaybird: i've only liked one english teacher ever i think, pretty much
Jaybird: for some reasons, me and english teachers dont get along
StretPharmacist: see, this is because we speak our minds, and don't sell out to the fact, unlike others
StretPharmacist: if asked, I will speak my mind, I told Mrs. Malm that the Great Gatsby was long and boring, and I hated every page, and she didn't like me very much
StretPharmacist: others will hate the book, and then turn around and say stuff like "I find this book interesting because it is a commentary of life. . ." or something similar
StretPharmacist: now I fully believe that school is only going through the motions, for the most part, but I will not compromise the integrity of my mind in these matters
Jaybird: no kidding
Jaybird: my english teacher last year told me i interpreted a poem wrong
StretPharmacist: wow, she's dumb, and missing the point of poetry in the first place
Jaybird: exactly
StretPharmacist: I may not believe in poetry, but it is what you make of it, just like anything else
Jaybird: yeah, poetry IS supposed to be interpreted differently by everyone
Jaybird: but i guess i did it wrong...
Jaybird: haha
StretPharmacist: see, I've always said that no two english teachers teach the same language
Jaybird: how true
StretPharmacist: see, a good example is writing style
StretPharmacist: every year we get to a new english class
StretPharmacist: and whatever we learned last year about writing is thrown out, even though we were told that this is how you will be expected to do it next year
StretPharmacist: and are told this for the new way as well
StretPharmacist: and fucking MLA, seriously, they just change small rules to fuck me out of points on paper
Jaybird: whats MLA?
StretPharmacist: last year I got 5 points off for underlining "Works Cited" on the works cited page, and was later told by a college guy who takes an english class that that is how MLA wants it
StretPharmacist: MLA is a group of Nazis that somehow exists in order to spite all students who have ever had to write a paper
Jaybird: haha, ok
StretPharmacist: they are the official group who tell you the proper way to cite sources, the correct grammar, the right formats, and so on
StretPharmacist: and these things change on a month to month basis, they are seriously worse than the IRS at changing laws
Jaybird: that sounds dumb
StretPharmacist: and they have total control over the English Language, which I think is slowly becoming a tool of the Illuminati because of them
StretPharmacist: well, I guess if I have time, I have a new article
Jaybird: haha, there you go

StretPharmacist is a lot like the Undertaker:  A gimmick that should have never gotten over, but was taken to unbelievable heights.  Also, he is constantly injured.