Obsession
by Brady Lewis

 

This is a little late, but I must put this out.  I deserve the right to bitch about this issue.  I have put it off for too long, but I must speak out.  Some of you readers out there probably aren't going to understand this article (actually, most of you won't).  However, I don't care.

 

This issue has been festering in my mind and my entire being since 1995.  Before I continue, here's a taste of what I am about to unleash:

 

 

CATION:  EXTREME AMOUNTS OF NERD COME AHEAD.  HIT "BACK" ON YOUR INTERNET BROWSER IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE EXPOSED TO SUCH THINGS.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, here's what this article is about.  What you saw above was 220 of the exact same card.  That's right.  That was my obsession.  What card was it?

 

The Most Powerful Card Ever.

 

This is from a card game similar to Magic:  The Gathering.  Only this card game was based on Star Trek.  The company that made this game was Decipher.  So I am going to bitch at Decipher for a while. 

 

Decipher, you may have stopped making this once-great game, but that doesn't excuse what you did to this card.  I collected this card religiously for the entire span that this game was made.  I bought packs and traded just to get this card in multiples.

 

And what did you do?  You people, after making the mistake of having this be a common card that can be found anywhere, found out how powerful it really was.  You found out that this card, when used in packs or by itself, is the most devastating force in your game.  Sure, you had already made a card to get rid of Rogue Borg Mercenaries, called "Hugh," but that was a rare card, and not practical.

 

This should have been enough.

 

Hugh just wasn't enough for you though.  Rogue Borg were still too powerful, especially when used one-by-one to stop ships due to battle.  So, you came out with another card, one that I tolerated, as the chances of drawing it were slim, and it took up space in the opponent's deck.

 

This was tolerable.

 

And, for a time, that was enough for you.  You had other things that needed your attention, and so Rogue Borg were able to be a viable strategy.

 

Then you decided to really crack down on abusive strategies.  Q the Referee was a milestone for this game, as it allowed the player to instantly bring into play any card with the white-and-black-striped referee icon.  One of these cards practically killed any chances of Rogue Borg being effective ever again.  That card was Reactor Overload.

 

Son of a Bitch.

 

Decipher, I understand why this card was made.  It was a necessity, and I can relate to that.  But did you absolutely have to make this card RETURN TO THE PLAYER’S HAND AFTERWARDS?  Seriously, it just doesn't go away.  Anytime you play Rogue Borg, they practically die right away.  My collection almost became obsolete because of this thing. 

 

Note I say "almost."  I, unlike my other Rogue Borg players, persevered.  I created a deck that was got around this major roadblock of a card.  For those of you who are interested, and understand the game (like, what, none of you?) click here to see this amazing work of art. 

 

You were content with that for the rest of the game's existence, Decipher.  Because of that, I was able to retire from Star Trek knowing that I had beaten the system.  I had gotten around every card designed to stop my favorite strategy.  There was nothing you could do to stop me. 

 

Then, in the last set of cards you made for this game, you released a card which almost had to have been aimed right at my heart.  Decipher, I can never forgive you for what you did to me with this card.

 

Fuck You, Decipher.

 

Strategema.  Nullifies all Rogue Borg Mercenaries instantly.  There is no way to get rid of this card.  Decipher, you took away my time and effort with this single card.  Fitting, I suppose:  right as you stop making the game, you take a parting shot at players like me, those who find a way around these "silver bullet" cards. 

 

The thing that gets me is that you people made Rogue Borg Mercenaries, and yet you didn't see how powerful it was.  You had to come out with card after card to try and stop them.  The only way to really do it was to make them totally useless, and you finally did.  You figured that since you weren't making the game anymore, and since the cards would be worthless anyway, you would make a good portion of them useless to boot.  Decipher, I spent my time and money on your game, and this is what I get at the end of the journey:  Stratagema.  Fuck you, Decipher. 

 

Rogue Borg Mercenaries forever.

 

Back to PsychoNoble Articles

    Back to PsychoNoble Home