My Cellphonic Rebuttal: Yes cellphonic... shutup

By: Alex Anderson

Rather than disagree and suck Norwegian penis, I figured I would write up the first ever PsychoNoble article rebuttal, in defense of myself and all other cell phone users.  Well, actually just myself, because all other cell phone users are indeed little whiny jerk offs who smoke the cock.  This of course is brought upon by fellow Nobler Brady Lewis, who has published an article entitled "Cellular Phones" on this very site.  Needless to say it views users of the devices in a harsh light if any light at all.

First of all, I own a cell phone for all of the right reasons.  Yes my phone has a camera on it, but that didn't factor into my decision to get it.  I mean, that's just retarded (no offense real retards).  That reminds me of people telling their parents to buy them a Playstation because not only did it play Playstation games but it also played CDs.  Wow!  Many people don't realize this but the Sony Playstation also works as a toilet.  Yup, that's correct a fucking john to piss in right there in your fucking living room.*  Anyway, cell phones are not cool because they take pictures or make retarded polyphonic songs that just sound shitty; in fact they're not cool at all.

Okay this article is just really stupid, because for the most part Brady is right.  But the fact is that I'm rarely at my dorm so calling me there is useless.  I may be at work, but I could also be out on the town, cruising through the mall, or busting caps in whities.  Or something.  So in that sense my cell phone is of use.

But now for the real reason I love my cell phone.  My cell phone serves as a personal directory.  It's like an address book, except it has a clock on it, makes noises, and takes pictures.  I used to think address books were overrated, but then I realized that phone books and the human mind are overrated.  Why take the time to memorize somebody's number or the time to look it up in the phone book when you can just have your cell phone do it for you?

Yeah that's right.  Everyone was all like, "YEAH, DOWN WITH PHONES OF THE CELLULAR NATURE!"  Then a revolutionary came by and thwarted the first revolutionist with a big chunk of deer jerky and the people said, "HA, MACARONI WITH CHEESE OF THE SPIRAL SHAPE IS SUPERIOR TO THAT OF THE NOODLE GENRE!"

Noodle vs. Spiral

Don't be fooled by the flying spiderman, he's a trick.  Spiral always wins this battle, even if the picture is a blurry piece of shit.

And in turn the readers of this website shook their heads in disgust as they closed the window that displayed the first ever PsychoNoble Rebuttal.

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*Sony Playstation only works as a pisser once, before it shorts out electrically and no longer works as a Playstation or even a CD player for that matter.