Japanese Candy: Friend or Foe?
by Jason DeShaw

    So one weekend, me and a few friends went down to The International District of Seattle.  While there, we visited a Japanese convenience store called Uwajimaya (pronounced wah-gee-my-ah).  Wandering the store you can find some of the strangest things imaginable.  Sometimes you take a glance at a certain product and wonder if it was supposed to be shipped to the waste management station instead (yeah so I don't care for Asian food that much, sue me (please don't sue me)).  There was one isle that stood out though.  One isle that could not be passed up.  This was of course, the candy aisle.  Just think of every stereotypical Japanese cartoon character and that is what all the candy packages look like.  They all have about 15 colors, people with big eyes and mouths, and characters who are just way too happy.

    I, of course, took it upon myself to purchase some of this candy, to give the viewers of this site a small glimpse into the world of Japanese candy.

    I decided to buy three different packages of candy.  I based my decisions pretty much on what packages looked the most unique, because I pretty much had no idea what any of them contained.  Seriously, unless there was an obvious picture of what the candy looked like, you would have no idea either.

    Product 1:

    Just looking at this picture, I hope you understand the point I made better about not knowing what I was buying.  The picture is just some kid standing there looking up.  Does this maybe have something to do with the sky or clouds?  I'm not sure.  He also has his hands behind is back and a pretty big smile.  If I didn't know better, I'd think he was hiding something from me... like maybe what the candy is!  Stupid kid.  Anyways, time to take a look inside...

    Hmmm... individually wrapped orange hard candies.  Interesting... very interesting.  Now they have this whole orange theme going, you would think it would taste like oranges.  That still doesn't really explain the picture though, of the kid looking up.  Maybe he is looking up into an orange tree?

    Well I popped one of these babies into my mouth.  Yep... candy in my mouth... not really orange flavored at all... wait... what is happening to my throat.  I'm being relived of all my throat problems!  Well honestly I didn't have any throat problems, but these were indeed some sort of cough drops/throat lozenges.  You just can't mistake that icy cold feeling in your throat.  The picture makes more sense now too.  The kid is obviously looking up so you can see his throat... Ahhhh got it!  The only thing that bothers me is they were marketing these as candy.  I'm sure some poor American boy somewhere is getting high off of these as we speak.

Overall Feeling: Eh

    Product 2:

    I hope you are as confused as me when I first looked at this package.  Yes, that IS a cow staring you right back in the face.  Or maybe it's a bull, because it has a ring in its nose.  Ugh I don't know.  Either way the question must be asked, why is this on a candy package!?  I'm going to be quite upset my friend if this is cow flavored candy, and coming from Japan, would you really doubt it?

    Opening it up I found the little packages to have the word "milk" on it.  Phew, that was close.  We can all rest assured that its not cow flavored, but milk flavored... wait what?  Milk flavored candy... it seemed the longer I contemplated trying this candy the more worried I was getting.  Worries aside, I took one for the team.

    First taste... not so great.  Tasted... milky I guess?  Surprisingly enough it did get better.  It ended up having more of a caramel flavor then a milk flavor.  Still I'm not quite sure what the whole cow thing is.  Seriously... a cow?  Milk flavored candy?  I can see maybe in India where they find cows to be sacred and what not, but Japan?  It's just mind boggling.  I'll just remind myself that in Japan, animals can talk and dinosaurs never went extinct, and it helps put my mind at ease.

    Product 3:

    Oh boy did I save the best for last.  Just look at that packaging.  Seriously, just take a few second to look.  I don't believe you took a few seconds, jerk.  Anyways this has got to be the most stereotypical Japanese candy I have ever seen.  Do those characters make any sense to you?  Does it really matter if they make sense?  Probably not, because you are too distracted by all the different colors to notice the absurdities.  Yet, you can't help but recognize a few of the characters...

McDonalds Hybrid

Powdered Toast Man!

    Oh Japan, you nuts!  Anyways, this is one of the packages where I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting, and that my friend, was chocolate!  Lots and lots of Saturday Morning Japanese Import Cartoon Chocolate!

    To my surprise, all of the candies were individually packaged, each with their own character.  Honestly this is pretty cool, they were like collectible candies.  "Oo oo I got the... uh... green thing... with the antennas and... purple tail... yeah!"  Oh it was a joyous time.  Did I mention there were a lot of characters...

Lots and lots of characters...

    Seriously, there were about 15 different types of packages.  All unique from one another.  I have to commend this candy.  I almost didn't want to eat it because I would have to tear some of these neato wrappings.  Alas I went ahead to did it, for you, the site faithfuls, and for my stomach, for it was grumbly.

I was tricked!

    Upon opening the candy, I came to the sobering realization that all these candies were just randomly wrapped!  The Japanese have broken my heart again (yeah I don't know what I'm talking about either).  They got my hopes up.  They made me believe that they put that 110% effort into wrapping, for the kids!  My God think of the kids!  I feel bad for those little Japanese kids, wanting to get green teapot head guy but sadly end up with the idiotic brown football shaped head guy with a yellow cape.

    Oh yeah, I ate it.  It was chocolate.

    So in conclusion, you should probably just stick to American candy.  I'd take a 3 Musketeers any day over the milk candy, or the throat things.  And I think I'd rather have decent sized chocolates over weird little Japanese cartoon ones.  You have to give credit to them for one thing though, their awareness of hygiene...

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