I can remember the day it finally happened.  October 20, 2003.  What a glorious day that was.  The sun was out.  There was a cool, crisp breeze blowing through Fargo.  I was in a study hall doing some homework.  And the Boston Celtics traded Antoine Walker to the Dallas Mavericks.

My spirits were high upon hearing this news.  Antoine Walker, the most overrated basketball player in the history of the sport, was traded away from my favorite NBA team, the Boston Celtics.  Words do not describe how I felt, considering that they were able to get a first round pick in the draft that year.  October 20^th was about to become a holiday for me.

It was for one year, at least.

Antoine played for Dallas for a while, and then got himself traded to the Atlanta Hawks.  And then, I almost had a heart attack.

The Boston Celtics trade for Antoine Walker.

Now, you are probably wondering where I get off having all this hatred of this professional athlete.  Well, as stated above, Antoine Walker is the most overrated basketball player ever.  Allow me to elaborate.

Walker plays no defense.  He is too much of a pussy to play hard defense against other power forwards.  He makes no contact with opposing players.  If you want proof of how much of a pussy he is, just watch the next time he gets called for a foul.  He looks like he’s going to cry.  For these same reasons, he doesn’t rebound as well as people think he does.

Walker tries to handle the ball like a point guard.  I’ve watched every single Celtics game that I get on TV here in Fargo, and I have never seen anything good come of this.  Never.  No points are ever scored when he dribbles up court.  One of three things happens.  One is that the ball gets stolen, showing just how well he can handle the rock.  Second is that he loses control of the ball and it goes out of bounds.  Again, what a dribbling machine the guy is.  Or third, he comes to the three-point line and doesn’t try to make a pass; he just chucks up a three.

This leads me to my next point.  Walker can’t shoot.  He can’t.  Don’t even try to argue that.  He can’t shoot.  He could never shoot.  He never will be able to shoot.  Ever.  He can’t shoot.  He was 2^nd in three pointers made in 2002-2003.  He better have fucking been, he only took 582 of the damn things.  And he only made his 188 because of the triple-teams on Paul Pierce.  Doing the math, this means he made about 32% of shots that about 65% of which were wide open.  What an accomplishment.  “But he makes a lot of shots inside,” is the common argument.  Any power forward that is getting paid US money should be able to make shots inside.  Plus, Walker is so much of a pussy that he hardly ever plays inside.  He could actually be a decent player if he would just stick to his inside game.  But since he doesn’t, he blows.

Sure, you argue, but he has won many games with last second three-pointers.  Yeah, well, they wouldn’t need him to make those last second shots if he wasn’t turning the ball over and missing all those threes that he shouldn’t be taking.  Plus, Paul Pierce is a better shooter and was commanding more attention on those plays as well. 

Boston gave up too much to trade for this hack as well.  First, they gave up a first round pick.  This means that they gave up the rights to draft a player that will more than likely become a better player than Antoine Walker.  I realize that isn’t saying much, but still, you never, NEVER trade draft picks. 

Second, because of this trade, Al Jefferson will see less playing time.  Al Jefferson is a rookie power forward that has been starting for Boston and is developing into quite the dominant player.  In two years, he could be mentioned in the same sentence as Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan.  But, with everyone so high on Walker, he won’t see enough time on the court to truly develop into the player he could be.  This is sad because having this type of power forward pretty much solidifies a team’s position as a playoff team in the Eastern Conference. 

Oh well, I suppose this is just part of being a Celtics fan.  Each year they make a trade or draft a player that just frustrates the hell out of you (i.e. the drafting of Joe Forte, the abandoning of Joe Johnson, etc.).  So even though Boston re-traded for Antoine Walker, I suppose it could be worse.

After all, they could have signed Anthony Mason.

And no, I will not elaborate on that one.  We would be here all day.

StretPharmacist is a lot like the Undertaker:  A gimmick that should have never gotten over, but was taken to unbelievable heights.  Also, he is constantly injured.