As many of you know, right before the Nondenominational Holiday Break, most colleges have Finals Week.  NDSU is no exception.  December 12 - 16 is nothing but tests. 

Three things happened to me that week.  First, I was stressed out because of testing.  Second, I was running on no sleep for most of it.  And third, the place that I had worked for the better part of four years, A&W/Long John Silver’s, had just closed down, so I had lost my job. 

When number three came along on Thursday of that week, some of the former employees of the restaurant decided to drink that night.  I decided to join them.  I got, as they say, stumbling drunk. 

Now, after never having been drunk for the twenty years I’ve been alive, I do it.  And after having done it, I don’t think that it will happen again for quite a while.  But that isn’t the point of this article at all.  I’m not going to say that being drunk was horrible.  It wasn’t a bad experience at all.  I was responsible about it.

My point is that when people found out about it, they tried to make me feel bad about it, like I had done something wrong.

May I kindly tell you people to BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Anyone who tries to make me feel bad about this is full of shit, and they know it.  How can they sit back and try to make me feel ashamed of getting drunk when I know for a fact that they have done ten times worse?  Did I break a law?  Fuck yeah I broke a law!  You show me one person who hasn’t broken that damn law and I’ll show you someone who simply doesn’t understand how this world works.  No one is innocent enough to tell me that I broke a law and that is bad.  Everyone has had alcohol before the age of 21, or downloaded music they didn’t own, or burned a copy of a DVD, or driven over the speed limit, or ran a red light. 

Not only that, but I was way more responsible about it than most people are.  I was in a friend’s apartment.  I walked there so that I wouldn’t drive home.  I was about to walk home and most likely slip on the ice about fifty times until I got a ride from a friend.  I did everything right in this situation except for the breaking of the law itself. 

Am I a hypocrite for getting drunk after speaking out against alcohol?  Perhaps I am.  But it is equally as hypocritical for people who grew up in the 1960s to tell me what I did is wrong, if not more so.

Just do me a favor and fuck off.  You’re just angry that I lasted longer than you did.  I lasted twenty years before it happened, and you probably only lasted to sixteen, and that’s being generous.  I’m not the straight-laced, innocent, always-makes-the-right-decision person everyone seems to think I am.  No one is that way.  I’m not perfect, and you can’t make me feel bad about it. 

I’m sick of this holier-than-thou attitude.  I can say that too, because those who judge me are most likely Catholics. 

In closing, close your face and go away.

StretPharmacist is a lot like the Undertaker:  A gimmick that should have never gotten over, but was taken to unbelievable heights.  Also, he is constantly injured.