:: We Are Assholes ::

This section of the website will serve as an asshole log for the main contributors of PsychoNoble.  If anyone has a great example of pure assness, feel free to send it in.  (Yes, that's right, assness.)

Eye for an Eye

Just the other day I was heading downstairs to put some more time on my clothes dryer in the dorms.  As I walked in, I caught a girl in the act of finishing up taking out my clothes and stealing my dryer.  I went over to my clothes to see if they were at least dry, but they were all damp.  This upset me very much, because she went through all my clothes and stole my dryer.  Even worse that meant there were no open dryers.  Stuck with wet clothes, I made my decision.  I don't get dry clothes, neither does she.  After she left, I put all my clothes in my bag, and then open and closed her dryer door, thereby shutting it off.  If only I could have seen her expression when she came back in an hour, only to find her clothes sitting in a wet heap in the dryer.

Ugly as Rhonda

Ok so we hired this new person, and I had heard horrible stories about her being ugly as sin, and having sex parties and shit, but I had never seen her.  One night I showed up to close and came in the front door because my mother gave me a ride to work that night (as my truck was at the shop).  I was walking in back though the flimsy door and she was standing right there.  She was the ugliest person I had ever seen. Instinctively I yelped, because I was not expecting that.  She just stared right at me.  I let the door close and turned to Steve and asked, "What the hell is that?"  He responded, "It's Rhonda." I turned around to go clock in and she was standing right there.
 

Cancer Victims Expire

I was at A&W, messing around, doing anything I could possibly do, other than work.  After throwing hushpuppies at a box, I wandered around and eventually came across expiration date stickers.  These stickers have the days of the week on them, and we put them on foods that only last a few days, so that other shifts of people know whether or not it's safe to sell them.  Upon seeing them, my eyes brightened, and I promptly peeled one off of the role, and put it on my forehead.  I then strolled to the back, where a Brady observed that I would expire on a Friday, according to the sticker.  I chuckled, and replied, "yah, we should give these to cancer patients."  After a few seconds of chuckles from both parties, a realization smacked us both upside the head.  "Man we're assholes!"

Non-Free Style Walkers

Just the other day, myself (Jason) and Matt were at a local elementary school shooting a Free Style Walking documentary.  As we walked around the playground shooting our movie, some handicap children came rolling in from a path far away.  They were in wheel chairs.  We then made a joke about how they will never be Free Style Walkers like us.  We laugh.  We are assholes.

You Retard

Alex, Dennis and I went to McDonalds for lunch. Alex and Dennis step up to order, because Alex was paying for Dennis. They start to order and halfway through the change everything. So then I call them retards. They start to order again and once again half way through they change everything. Again I call them retards. They do it another time and I call them retards again. Alex turns around and says shut up dude. That's when I realize that the person taking the order is a retard.