The Yellow Badge of Courage:  A Story of Nerf
by StretPharmacist

Before 11/20/04

Welcome to the second installment of this series of an undetermined length.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy doing it.  Except Cole.  But he doesn't count, cause he got injured and doesn't like losing to me.

Anyway, keep in mind that this is written from my perspective.  This is also written from memory with help from the pictures taken.  So if there are any holes that someone from the event wishes to fill, you guys can sure tell me, and Ill revise this.  Also, if a picture seems out of place, that is because it was taken from that fight, I just wasn't around it at the time. 

So yeah, this event happened a whole lot earlier than we thought it would.  This is not the large scale event that is still scheduled for this summer, but rather another test of sorts.  It was another success.  Credit goes out to Blake for organizing this event. 

From the beginning is where I'll start.  I get a call from Blake a week and a half before this thing, and he wants to get another war going.  I tell him that we do indeed have one scheduled for sometime this summer, with a lot of people.  He tells me he wants to do one on the long weekend coming up.  Well, I'm not one to turn down Nerf, so I tell him sure, get some people and well see what we come up with.

Over the course of that week and a half, Blake apparently gets Nerf veterans Jordan, Alex, Mike, and Cole, along with some rookies, Tom, Spencer, and Ryan.  Nine people is a good number.  This allows four on four capture the flag with one person roaming the field with the camera.  Mickelson Park is still the best place in town that we can have, although we would like an indoor arena.  If anyone reading this knows of a place we could use that is big enough for a lot of people and has lots of cover in the Fargo-Moorhead area, call us.

And so the day comes.  April 21, 2003.  I'm the first one on the scene at Mickelson at about 10:30 AM.  Spencer arrives a little after me.  So we wait around in the parking lot for everyone else.  Start time was scheduled for 11:00 AM.  Blake and Tom show up around then, followed closely by Cole, then Jordan.  Blake tells us that Alex wont be able to join us until noon.  So we sit around and wait for a while for Mike and Ryan to show up.  It is decided that perhaps the best course of action is to just wait until noon to start, so that Alex, Ryan, and Mike will be there.  Blake and Spencer go out to Toys R Us to get Spencer a gun, as he does not have one, and the rest of us just wait around. 

So Blake and Spencer leave.  Jordan, Cole, Tom, and I sit in the parking lot for a while.  We decide to call up Mike and Ryan to see if they are coming or not.  Mike claims to be on his way.  We don't get a hold of Ryan.  We sit around for another twenty minutes or so and finally Mike shows up.  Again, the poor bastard has no weapon.  This means he will be forced to take the camera position for the first match, and borrow the next persons weapon when they are cameraman. 

We wait some more.  Ryan is not here.  Neither is Alex.  Blake and Spencer are not back yet.  Mike and Cole, those lovable geniuses, start throwing rocks at the porta-potties.  They even invent a sort of Horse game, where you throw the rock and hit the potty, the other person must hit it from that spot or get a letter.  You know, like basketball.  Only with rocks and porta-potties. 


Cole and Mike Playing Potty-Horse

Some girls on the playground start yelling at us to stop playing this game.  We just turn the music up louder in Jordan's van.  Bitches.  To bad Cole missed them with that one rock.

Its about 12:30 and still no sign of Ryan, Blake, or Spencer.  So we call up Blake's cell phone.  Of course, right as we do that, they pull in.  Of course.  I tell them that Ryan isn't here yet.  Blake tells me that he thought this might happen, as he has not gotten a hold of Ryan all weekend.  He told him about it earlier, but after that, he couldn't find him.  Alex still isn't here, which we find weird.  We could call him up, but we decide against it, as we have seven people at this point, which is enough for three person teams and one cameraman. 

Unfortunately, there is some baseball practice going on.  This means that we can't use the bleachers and fields.  But the forest area is open, as always.  We start out there with three on three capture the flag. 

At this point in this write-up, I'd like to analyze the strengths of everyone going into this battle.  There were some arguments over what were fair teams, and so I'd like to just inform you of how everyone stacks up, if possible.  The rooks I will put nothing for, as I didn't know their strengths.  While I'm at it, Ill include Alex and Ryan, even though they weren't there.

Tom: He is a rook.  I cant list advantages yet, but I'd say that he should be able to think his way out of some situations.

Blake: Another rook.  But I know Blake well enough to say that he will keep coming after you.  His best advantage should be the aggressiveness.

Spencer: Rook.  Like Tom, Id say he should be able to think his way out of some sticky spots.

Ryan: Total rook.  Didn't even show up, therefore I can't even list what he should be able to do.

Jordan: He is a wild card.  His greatest advantage is the element of surprise.  No one expects him to do well after the last event.  This is deceiving, as he was double teamed constantly.  I knew I should keep my eyes on him.

Alex: Alex is quick, but not the quickest of us.  His main advantage is how distracting he is.  If he misses a wide open shot, or his gun misfires, he'll start yelling at random.  And since we all laugh at his frustration, that could give him the split second needed for a win.  He is way too much of a spaz.

Cole: Cole is the fastest of all of us.  He has the speed and endurance that all the rest of us lack.  Combine that with his rail of a body, and that is one target that is hard to hit.

Mike: Mike is a greasy little bugger.  He is quick, like Alex, yet always turns the other competitors against him.  He is also the smallest in stature, so he can hide in many more places.  He is always a threat.

Brady: You know, I honestly don't know my advantages.  My endurance is ok, my speed is usually average or below average.  Hell, I have no cartilage in my left foot practically.  And I have asthma.  Yet somehow I'm the king at Nerf.  Oh yeah, we aren't that far ahead yet. 

Moving on. . .

Yeah, it was three on three capture the flag.  Team One consisted of me, Jordan, and Cole.  Team Two was Blake, Tom, and Spencer.  We each went to opposite sides of the field.  We, as the veteran team, were out to prove our superiority to those puny rooks.


Team Punk Ass Rookies (Tom, Spencer, Blake)

Rules for this event are such.  Object is to take your opponents flag back to your flag.  Getting hit works the same way as the last event (6 points, lose points when hit, etc).  If you lose all your points, you must WALK back and touch your flag.  You can't run back.  So with the rules set, we were on our way!

We hid our flag behind a tree.  I could see their flag behind a pine tree and I informed the others of that.  So we advanced in a spread formation, with Cole and I on the outside, and Jordan up the middle.  Basically, the formation meant nothing, as all six of us kind of met in the middle of the battleground. 

At first, no one was willing to fire the all unimportant first shot.  So, leaving my team behind, I started to walk up toward the opposing flag.  Blake started to follow me with his gun at the ready, but I just kept walking, just far enough away from him to dodge any shot he took.  I forget which of us took the first shot, but eventually it got to the point where I was running up to the flag, he was right across from me, and we were shooting like crazy.  I almost got to the flag, but he took me down about two yards away from it.  I took out five of his points though, so it wasn't a big loss.


Cole Advances On Spencer

NEXT>>

StretPharmacist is a lot like the Undertaker:  A gimmick that should have never gotten over, but was taken to unbelievable heights.  Also, he is constantly injured.

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